The Importance of Kindness

Kindness is extremely important to me.

It is the trait that I most admire in people. My husband’s kindness was what first attracted me to him.

It is how I want to be treated by others.  Ironically, I think people being unkind to me at various times has made me a kinder person. For the most part, I have been very fortunate to have kind people in my life.

It is a characteristic that I strive to achieve. I am not always successful. In my self-improvement journey of the past few years, I have worked to become more kind to myself. I have also become committed to be more proactively kind, not just reactively kind, to others.

The older I get, I have noticed that kindness has a more profound effect on me. Maybe it is that I am more aware of it and open to it than I have ever been. To me, seeing kindness is joyful; it is gentle; it can be life changing.  Receiving kindness can move me to tears.

Last week, I was the recipient of kindnesses that overwhelmed me. And again I realized how tremendous the effect can be; kindness can change your mood, the way you feel about yourself, the way you treat others, and the way others then treat others.

I had a morning meeting last Friday and was unable to attend my normal early morning yoga class.  Instead, I decided to go to a class at 9:30.  As soon as I walked into the room, I felt like it was the first day of school and I had just moved into town (been there, done that). None of my friends from the morning class were there.  The room was quickly becoming packed. Instead of my normal front row space, I took a space in the back row, in the corner. I sat there and watched as people came into class. To me, it seemed like they were all younger, blonde, fitter, tanner and more attractive – and, of course, more accomplished at yoga. I was setting myself up for a terrible practice and was completely in my head, and not on my mat.

Someone put their mat down next to me and I looked up and saw that it was my beloved instructor from my morning class. She greeted me with her normal infectious enthusiasm and the class started.  We were all very close to one another. As we got to the balance poses and had to extend our legs out to the side, my leg was over my neighbor’s (my instructor from the morning class) mat and, basically, right in front of her. As I started to worry about sweating on her mat, I realized that her hand was on my leg, gently supporting it.  That happened several more times. Once, when we were on the floor, our hands hit and before I could pull mine away, she grabbed it and squeezed it.

I cannot do justice to those actions with words. Maybe you had to be there, but it turned my practice from what was going to be one of my worst, to one of my best. Because of her gentleness, I was able to stop the destructive thinking and I left class with a more full heart.

The second kindness occurred later that same day.

I have been struggling with my blog lately. I am hoping it is because I am in year-end crunch at work and am more stressed and tired than I usually am. I have been fighting self doubts. The writing of others seems so much more sophisticated … important … timely … learned … and you get the idea.  So I have given myself a break this month from my blog, with no pressure to post regularly.

On Friday afternoon, in between drafting documents for work, I rewarded myself by visiting my friend Robin’s blog. Reading Graceful Leadership is one of my favorite leisure activities. Robin writes about her beloved dog, Grace, and then ties Grace’s behavior, and Robin and Grace’s interactions, back to human relationships, and the management of people in the workplace.  I learn from Robin and carry her messages with me. I feel so lucky to have gotten to know her through the blogging world; her gentleness and her love for animals is so evident.

As I made my way through Robin’s post that day, I was thrilled to see that she received a much deserved blogging award, and was then shocked to see that she turned around and gave the award to me.  The award is called the Liebster Blog Award and, as Robin explained it, “the Liebster Blog Award is named after the German word, liebster, meaning dearest; hence the Liebster Blog Award means Dearest Blog Award. It is an award intended to recognize worthy, lesser known blogs and to help expose their work.”

For the second time that day, I was moved to tears. In both situations, it was almost as if the person sensed my particular insecurities, and reached out and reassured me through their incredible kindness. The high that I felt all weekend from these two women’s acts made me think so much about it and how I want to create those feelings in others. I am even more determined to do so. If we all made the effort to be more kind, imagine the impact on our world. It helps to first surround yourself with kind friends as I have apparently done.

Before I close my post, I have a responsibility to abide by the rules of the Liebster Blog Award, which are as follows: (1) thank the giver and link back to their blog (which I am honored to do); (2) reveal your top five picks, with less than 200 readers, and let them know; (3) copy and paste the award on your blog; and (4) hope that the person you give it to keeps the award moving forward.

Instead of five picks, I am going to limit myself to one blog to highlight. I became friends with Jill through her husband Brian, who so patiently and adeptly helped us to find our home in North Carolina. When Brian forwarded me the link to Jill’s blog, I knew that I had found a kindred spirit, at least in some ways.  Jill is an incredibly talented artist, a talent which I envy but certainly do not possess.  She and I do share a love for animals though. Her blog follows her beautiful life in the North Carolina mountains, which she and Brian share with three dogs, two horses, two miniature donkeys, a cat and various wild animal visitors (I hope I have that tally correct). It won’t take you long, though, to see who my true love in Jill’s life is; lets just say that Jill, Brian and I all have the same bulldog gene. Please enjoy Jill’s Life with me.

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